Just an ordinary day in the life of a girl...

Good Quote to ponder...

2009-01-05T23:18:00.001-05:00

"We are creatures of time, created to dwell in the present moment, and yet I know hardly a person who is able to accomplish that feat with much serenity. We are constantly straining at the seams of our confinement, trying to push out into the future or back into the past. We are either looking back at the 'good old days' or regretting what was or might have been. We are either looking forward in dread of what awful thing might happen or looking forward in anticipation of the great day when 'our ship finally comes in.' Either way-whether we are looking backward or forward-we are robbing ourselves of the only moment we can ever truly inhabit. The best way to embace our time-bound status is to surrender our yesterdays and our tomorrows to God, to freely put into His hands what is already there anyway-time!"

-Taken from "Dear Abba", by Claire Cloninger

2009-01-04T01:00:00.004-05:00

So, it's really hard to explain what it's like where I am...and I know I have not done a great job of updating my life on this blog. Sorry!! I hope to post again soon about what I am doing.

Mostly still working the internship and starting to work more with the Education side of what we do. I am still working as receptionist for a chiropractor and it pays the bills. Then I am continuing in my homework for my master's classes...VERY busy, but doing well!!

To do a little better job explaining where I am I am posting this little video tour of my church, hope it helps you see where I'm working! If you click on 12Stone church you can view more videos of clips from our services. Enjoy!

What is love??

2008-10-19T12:59:00.001-04:00

Well for starters, this isn’t one of those “I’m an embittered single girl who just would like the super-human, ultra-romantic man to sweep me off my feet” sort of notes. No no, this just comes out of a lot of recent conversations with a lot of different people about this whole love idea. So many people my age around me are trying to figure out this whole love thing. Recently I’ve seen those who are devastated in heartbreak, those who believe they’ve finally found “the one,” those for whom love is hardly even a thought, and those who are just feeling love will never come again. This is a rambling of thoughts that are jumbled together in my brain and I’d hope to make sense of them. Your responses are welcomed…

Love is such an abstract, but according to so many it is all that life is about. So what do we really know about love??

Love heals.
Love is patient, kind, humble, serving, peaceful, protecting, trusting, hopeful, and perseverant.
Love is fallen out of, and fallen into.
Love never fails.
Love brings us butterflies.
Love is something Meatloaf would do anything for, well, except for THAT.
Love takes chances.
Love is the movement.
Love is the cure.
Love is fun!
Love is painful.
Love makes people do crazy things.
Love fuels some of the best song lyrics.
Love is hard to find, and even harder to let go of.
Love is sacrificial.
Love is more than just friendship.
Love is the beauty of the soul.
Love in it’s perfection, casts out fear.
Love cannot be made, however, whoopie can.
Love requires faith.
Love is poetic.
Love grows.
Love is a decision and a choice.
Love is an idea, a thought, a moment, and cannot be captured completely…
Love is complicated.

How do we bind all these ideas together and make them a part of our lives? What does it mean for me to be a loving person? I believe there really is more than one realm to this love discussion, but much like a Venn diagram their worlds collide and have many things in common. I have love for my friends, love for others, love for my family, and possibly someday love for a significant other. But the bond that this love brings is very different for each of those relationships. For my friends, love means I would go out of my way to see that they are encouraged, supported, cared for, and find the best things in life. For others, it means that because of a calling on my life from God I will serve to the fullest no matter the position of humility it may cause me to be in. For my family, it means that I put them above others because they are connected to me and I respect that through obedience to them. For a significant other, love will probably start at attraction and warm fuzzies, but grows as the foundation to see through arguments and imperfections and bring the courage for a boldness to stand by someone in any situation life brings our way.

The idea I have struggled through is: what does love really look like when it completely not about me or my ambitions, when it is entirely about someone else and centered around God’s perfect plan for my life. I don’t know at this point in my life that I have seen or done love entirely without motive. Perhaps, it’s because not all motive is entirely wrong. Certainly, I know that the source of understanding love is God in His triune nature. The love relationship between a heavenly Father, Jesus Christ His Son, and a vibrant Holy Spirit is the kind of love we are called to live out. Not only for us to live out, but also we are invited to be a part of it! Even so, that He made us body, mind, and spirit so that we might understand by being triune ourselves.

These are easy things to write out, but even harder to live out. The thing about love is, we are still imperfect, and love is a perfect thing. So what happens when broken people attempt to live out perfect love? Failure, time and time again, it’s unavoidable. So we work hard at it, everyday, because love really is the key. I don’t believe for a second figuring it all out will be easy, but I still believe it’s a journey worth taking.

Thanks for coming along on a trail through my stream of consiousness…

Here are some quotes I’ve pondered on the idea…

“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.”
- Captain Corelli's Mandolin6. "Love is the beauty of the soul."
--St. Augustine

"I love you, not only for what you are, But for what I am when I am with you."
--Roy Croft

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."
--Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"Love is like a friendship caught on fire: In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable."
--Bruce Lee

"Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love."
--Erich Fromm

. "Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul."
--St. Augustine

"....A simple I love you means more than money...."
--Frank Sinatra

"When you are in Love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams." --Dr. Seuss

“Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice but falling in love with you I had no control over.”
–-Unknown

“If you love someone you would be willing to give up everything for them, but if they loved you back they’d never ask you to.”
--Anonymous

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return.” -- Nat King Cole

“Oh I don’t know why you’re not fair, I give you my love but you don’t care. So what is right, and what is wrong, gimme a sign. What is love?! Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me no more.”
--Haddaway

“What would you do if my heart was torn in two? More than words to show you feel that your love for me is real. What would you say if I took those words away? Then you couldn’t make things new just by saying I love you.” --Extreme

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
It is not self-seeking, nor easily angered.
It keeps no record of wrongdoing.
It does not delight in evil,
But rejoices in the truth.
It always protects, trusts, hopes, and preserves.
There is nothing love cannot face;
There is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things that last forever:
Faith, hope, and love;
But the greatest of them all is love.
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Life keeps going...

2008-10-11T13:02:00.002-04:00

Week to week the time goes by so quickly. I feel like I've hardly begun a week and it's already ending. I'm keeping up with the 12Stone, receptionist, master's schedule pretty well I think. Learning more about life on my own and what that really means. There is a lot to do, but really few parameters on me. Which means that I can get through this time if I want to, or I can choose to make as much of it as possible.

Recently, I have had some pretty cool opportunities of connection in the community through our benevolence work (assitance to those who are financially burdened) and through the Co-Op in Lawrenceville. It seems like everywhere I go though people are asking..."Why are you doing this, you are so young, everyone who volunteers for this stuff is old??" "What, you moved 10 hours away for an internship at a church?" "You know there's not much money in ministry...right?" I think in the process of just taking steps forward that I know are what God has asked of me, I forget a little bit how absurd it does seem to everyone else. But it's not absurd to me because I know this is what I was created for. Every life experience I have had has led me to this point and many of those life experiences I have been able to use with people specifically in that situation. Even down to my personality type and the way I think fit with where I am today. And really, once I know what God has called me to do, it's really a matter of doing it. I know that for my life God has called me to be a part of compassion ministry in the church and that someday He will want me to have a position of influence, whatever that may look like for me. In that there is a lot of responsibility because He asks us in Colossians 3 to "live a life worthy of your calling." There is a high calling on my life and so every step of it must not be halfway done, but done well. It doesn't call me to take shortcuts and do "good enough." It calls me to go the extra mile, to push myself, and to take steps I cannot do without His help.

Almost daily, there are things I know I cannot do, but I have to walk forward an He gives me peace. I have no idea where the steps I am taking now will lead me. But I am thankful to be walking in Him and know that whatever it is will be better suited for me than whatever I would choose myself.

I keep thinking I'll get better at this..

2008-09-28T16:36:00.002-04:00

So, I look at the blog, and I really do think about starting a post...but then something comes up or I suddenly find the happenings of my life to be completely uninteresting. I certainly don't feel bored in it, but I always wonder what's interesting enough to share here. Hmmm...well last I wrote on here I had just ended my first week. Soon after that I began a job with a program called Playball. It goes into Pre-K centers and teaches motor skills to kids. I really enjoyed doing it, but I was spending the entire day to organize what was happening for only a couple hours in the afternoon and realized it just wasn't working out. When I went to quit that job, the lady who was my boss said that she still thought I was a great employee and wondered if I would be interested in being a receptionist for her friend's chiropractic business. YES, I would. So a couple weeks ago I began there as a receptionist and feel like I have been picking up on things pretty quickly. So, that's what I'm doing to make money. I have also moved to Lawrenceville, GA from the house in Dacula, to what will hopefully be a more permanent situation. I live with a couple that goes to 12Stone and has a 2 y/o son. They are really great and he is really well behaved and I'm really enjoying living there.

As for the internship, it continues to go well. I feel like there is a good balance of being used in what my gifts are, but also that I am learning a lot about what ministry should really look like. I am praying that through this God will continue to show me what it really looks like for my life. I just keep taking steps as He puts them in front of me and I am more and more excited to see where they lead. Last weekend was very cool, about 20 IWU students came down for the weekend to preview the church and look at the internship program. It was awesome to have people here that I know and to show them how ministry happens here. It is so difficult to explain to anyone what church at 12Stone is really like, because outside of here, I haven't experienced anything like it. It was affirming to be able to talk about the internship and the church and how great I think it is, then remember...I get to work here! It is nice to have some projects now to do and it is good to be able to pitch in and help organize things. A couple cool things from the last week...first, we did an emergency food drive over last weekend just to quickly get food because the Lawrenceville Co-Op, who the church works closely with, was VERY low on food. I was able to help organize it and through an awesome act of God we collected more than 20,000 food items in a weekend! Second cool thing, has been the opportunity to volunteer each week at the Co-Op. This week I was able to be a greeter, where basically I hand them a clipboard to fill out their info, but also am able to just sit and have conversation with them while they are waiting to be helped. There were a couple of ladies who sat down and I could just see that one of them was really carrying some heavy burdens. She had a tearful look even though she was not crying. I sat and talked with them for probably a half an hour and it was just a really Spirit-filled time. I found out they are both recovering from crack addictions and really have lost everything, but are trying to get back on their feet. It was just really good to hear their stories and to be able to pray with them. Do I know that everything they told me was the truth? No. Do I know that they will never again touch drugs and revert back? No. Does it really matter? Nope. God decided to show up in the middle of an otherwise ordinary day so that the three of us could have a Holy Spirit encounter and that is what matters.

The last new thing in my life I guess is that I have begun my master's through IWU. I am getting their master's of ministerial leadership. Currently i am in a Non-Profit Management class and it is going alright. I am hoping that before I'm 25 I'll have finished my internship, my master's and my ordination. If all goes as planned, it should happen. Hmm...that's all I can really think of as being new for now! Pretty much things are going great and I would love to see you visit Atlanta! :)

Living...

2008-08-12T15:46:00.002-04:00

I live in Atlanta. I'm still getting used to that response. I no longer reply I live at IWU, or Bluffton,IN, but instead Atlanta. Crazy stuff. Just under 5 months ago I felt this calling on my heart and now here I sit employed by 12Stone. I am more and more convinced with every single step that this is precisely where God wants me. The more I find out about the opportunities and what I get to do everyday for work, the more I am affirmed. My first week here went well and I definitely feel like I've been here longer than a week and a half. I have a room with a lovely couple in Dacula,GA about 15 minutes from the church and that is going well. This last weekend, they took all the interns on a retreat to St. Simons island which was beautiful and a great time of connecting and learning. I was able to see the background and vision for the church and, I have to say, I'm pretty bought in to it. I am amazed that I get two years to grow in a place like this and pray that I am always eyes-wide-open to every opportunity that comes my way. Again, He has shaken my life up and I am so thankful.

How marvelous! How wonderful! And my song shall ever be,
How marvelous! How wonderful! Is my Savior's love for me!

Moving

2008-07-29T11:39:00.002-04:00

Well, the time is finally coming where I getting close to moving. I have less than 72 hours before I pull out of Bluffton and begin residing in Georgia. It doesn't feel too weird yet. I think it's because I've been talking about it for about three months now. Though, I leave so much I don't think it will really feel like I live somewhere else until I've been there for more than a month. I am excited to go and I firmly believe this is the path that God wants me on.

Many of you have still asked what exactly it is that I am doing. I am moving to Lawrenceville, GA a northeast suburb of Atlanta, GA. I will be an intern for two years at 12Stone Church there. I will be working in the Community/Global Outreach areas of their ministry. I am not sure exactly what that will look like. I will likely be helping to organize community outreach events and keeping good relationships between the church and the other ministries it partners with. I will also go on some global and state-side mission trips for the first year and then possibly lead some trips the second year. Ultimately, I believe that this position works great with the skills I already have and that I will be able to serve the church well, but more so, I have so much to learn about ministry and I have the opportunity to learn practical ministry from a church and people that are being powerfully used. I will live in a host home for my time there and likely get another part-time job to pay the bills. :)

This move will not make me a millionaire. And I know that there are LOTS of people I graduated with that will be making significantly more. But my prayer has never been to be wealthy beyond belief, but rather that He would provide for my needs. He has yet to leave me stranded, and I know that He doesn't intend to. I look forward to this journey with Him. I don't know all of the steps, nor would I want to. If I did then I would not be trusting in Him, I'd be trusting in myself.

Goodbyes are just so weird. I hope to see people again, but I don't know how often or how soon. I know many of the relationships in my life will change. Some people I am close enough to that they will call and keep in touch, but I know there are some that I really may not talk to much again, just because our lives are taking different paths. So it's hard to have the right words to say to people. I have been able to say goodbye to many of you, but I'm still around for a couple days so if you want to hang out let me know! I drive down Friday morning, will be staying with friends Friday night, and then move into my host home Saturday afternoon. My position begins Monday morning at 9 am. I would love your prayers as I continue in this process! Check back for updates to come...

It's hard to believe...

2008-07-10T02:32:00.002-04:00

Five years ago from this very moment I was at Fairmount camp settled into bed with my friend and roomy Sarah giggling and talking about life. Five years ago I wish I had known to document everything that happened that week or that night, or that I would have known to be more aware of each little detail and word. I wish I would have asked her more questions, told her how much I appreciated her friendship, laughed more. I wish I would have known her not feeling well that night was resulting in something much bigger for the next day. I wish I would have just gone with her to sign up instead of going with the group so that I would have been there in that moment she collapsed, so she wouldn't have been alone. Sometimes, I wish more than anything that the blessing of being with her that last week would not have come to me, but to others more deserving.

Five years ago today, was one of the hardest days of my life. I can't really tell you there is much more clarity at this time than there was then as to why she was taken. I don't know that that question will ever really be answered for me. I do know that it taught me a lot about myself and my relationship with God going through that experience. I remember very clearly that night before I sat in Bethel Tabernacle with my youth pastor, James, saying that I was just feeling bored. Like there was some big step I should be taking but I didn't know what it was except that it was coming. I clearly remember praying that God would put something huge in my life because I was ready for it. If only I knew how those words would hit me even 24 hours later. Certainly, I don't believe that God decided to have Sarah die to give me something new to learn. But I do know that He could not have been more present than in those moments, days, weeks, months, and years of grieving that came soon after. An overriding peace like I have never felt was there in the moments when I felt like people were looking to me for strength and wisdom, when I stood watching her family say goodbye one by one as her casket was closed, when I stood behind her casket to sing, when it seemed I had wept all that I could, when I felt entirely spent. He came in peace.

He also came in people. So many who I knew, but the did not know her and months later were likely tired of hearing me be so down still, but stood by me anyway. People who were willing to listen. People who gave me wisdom when I needed it and were understanding when I didn't want to hear it. Grief is such a strange process that I can't say I really completely understand. But I know it has made me a more understanding person to go through it. I don't pretend to know exactly what every person who loses someone is going through, but there is still some common ground, I believe, in the pain of loss.

Sarah was a wonderful, amazing girl. I remember much of our last conversations and one in particular where she talked by name about so many different people in her life and how much she respected them or how much she loved them, and for some how much she really desired for them to know the Lord and have more joy in Him. God had really met with her that night before her death and she had plans for how and when she wanted to talk to them about having a stronger relationship with Him. Her heart for others was huge. Little did she know her life would stand as the testament to them. I can almost see her blushing, hearing all the attention and kind words that came for her after her death. Hard to believe that it has been five years since Corey and Mada's passing as well. They are also dearly missed.

Life has gone on, whether I wanted it to or not. Small steps through grief gradually brought me to where I am. God showed me that huge things in life will happen and that He is powerful enough to cover it all. He gave me faith when I was too weak to fully believe. It was a phase of life that shaped me. Spurned me into realizing a definite call to vocational ministry. Which took me to the phase of college. And now to the phase of growing up. I am excited for all that God has already set in motion for my move to Atlanta, but it's in reflecting that I am reminded the lessons in life and times when He teaches me the most about His love are not the easiest times. I can't confess I'm really ready or that I ever will be, but I am willing. Teach me Lord.

In Memory of Sarah Jean Chaffins- January 1, 1985- July 10, 2003

Why God shouldn't have called us...

2008-06-27T01:24:00.002-04:00

I used this following little sketch/poem for a talk about God's mercy every week for YouthWorks and often reference it in my head when I am feeling discouraged. I just found it again and decided I should share it here. It is a great reminder that whatever voices in your head that are telling you aren't good enough to do His work, certainly are not from Him. A wise saying I learned while at convention in NZ was "doubt your doubts." How simple and profound. May you be reassured of His faith and investment in you today!!

There are many reasons why God shouldn't have called you.
But don't worry....
You're in good company.

Moses stuttered.

David's armor didn't fit.

John Mark was rejected by Paul.

Timothy had ulcers.

Hosea's wife was a prostitute.

Amos' only training was in the school of fig-tree pruning.

Jacob was a liar.

David had an affair.

Solomon was too rich.......Jesus was too poor.

Abraham was too old......David was too young.

Peter was afraid of death......Lazarus was dead.

John was self-righteous.

Naomi was a widow.

Paul was a murderer....So was Moses.

Jonah ran from God.

Miriam was a gossip.

Gideon and Thomas both doubted.

Jeremiah was depressed and suicidal.

Elijah was burned out.

John the Baptist was a loudmouth.

Martha was a worry-wart.

Mary was lazy.

Samson had long hair.

Noah got drunk.

Did I mention that Moses had a short
fuse?

So did Peter, Paul--well, lots of folks did.

But God doesn't require a job interview.
He doesn't hire and fire like most bosses,
because He's more our Dad than our Boss.
He doesn't look at financial gain or loss.
He's not prejudiced or partial, not judging,
grudging, sassy, or brassy, not deaf to our cry,
not blind to our need.
As much as we try, God's gifts are free. We could
do wonderful things for wonderful people
and still not be ...Wonderful.
Satan says, "You're not worthy."
Jesus says, "So what? I AM."
Satan looks back and sees our mistakes.
God looks back and sees the cross.
He doesn't calculate what you did in '98.
It's not even on the record. Sure. There are lots of
reasons why God shouldn't have called us. But if we
are magically in love with Him, if we hunger for Him
more than our next breath, He'll use us in
spite of who we are, where we've been, or what we
look like.
I pray that as Christians, we will step out of our
limitations into the illimitable nature of who God is.
Then our passion for God and our passion to
communicate Him will make mince-meat of our
limitations!

I guess I look like Katie Holmes?

2008-06-25T05:01:00.001-04:00

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities

what have i done?

2008-06-25T02:30:00.000-04:00

life has been pretty uneventful lately. I have been writing, writing, writing to finish up an independent study by monday so i'm feeling a bit like summer is passing me by, but even if God only blessed me with what has happened this summer it would already be immeasurably more than I could have ever made happen on my own power. i often wonder if this blog is really to update people on what is happening in my heart, mind, and life, or really for me to just log what is happening for my own benefit. it's really a toss up, but if for nothing else i am going to take the time to make a little list of things i have done recently...

- moved out of a most loved living spot, townhouse 405, to learn how to live life without my bff's there every few hours...weird
- walked across a stage in luckey gymnasium to pick up an IWU diploma holder from Dr. Henry Smith
- drove 1400 miles to a city i don't know, to talk to people i don't know anything about, because i knew God wanted me to do ministry there, only to end up being handed a job that that is seemingly perfect for me
- stayed with the wonderful adam and mindy pierce who are a blessing to my heart for the reassurance and peace they seem to bring about to me, I am sure I don't tell them that enough...
- flew a good 8,000 miles from home to a place that has stolen a piece of my heart, New Zealand
- drove on the left side of the road for a month and managed not to hit anything :)
- was pulled over while driving on the left side of the road...for a reason i am still unsure of
- celebrated mother's day in a nursing home with so many beautiful elderly mums
- stayed in ramarama, the beautiful nz countryside with an amazing couple- geoff & liz naylor
- learned what a heart for ministry looks like from people like brett jones, ruth boswell, josh bowlin, cathy sosoli, and neville gosman
- learned more about what it means to be an imperfect leader that God still manages to work through anyway
- saw gorgeous waterfalls
- learned that food poisoning WILL win no matter how strong your will is...and it hits hard!
- know that it is going to take me a while to eat and enjoy asian food again...
- was able to revisit people and sights and projects that I was involved in in '05 in new zealand
- visited the papakura countdown about 40 times...i don't think that is an exaggeration...
- was introduced to african red bush tea and fell in love!
- watched the history making ground breaking on a $4,000,000 building project for Papakura Wesleyan
- taught my team that a "tim tam slam" is in fact something very real
- decided that international calories don't count especially when eating: pineapple lumps, crumpets, scones, tim tams, shortbread cookies, guacamole, burgerfuel, kumara chips, pastries and chicken tikka masala
- said words like jandals, rubbish, garege, boot, bonnet, toilet, percolated coffee, kiwifruit, jumper, ring, and university A LOT
- learned nz's "american" hot dogs are NOT comparable to actual american hot dogs
- learned tomato sauce and ketchup are very different
- tasted the sweet difference in golden kiwifruit ...mmmmm
- taught a session about seeking God to a group of women who were agnostic but seeking
- played a lot of set, speed scrabble, and dutch blitz
- watched my team not just work together, but become a family and support system for each other
- saw plain ol' college students walk into a community of churches and really touch hearts and lives

my nz team with vania, reuben and their children

- overlooked the city of Auckland from One Tree Hill and North Head
- ate fish and chips
- hiked to fairy falls for a breathtaking view of God's creation!
- went to Bethells beach and Bethells lake for an incredible view of the sunset and time for God to speak directly to my heart
- painted a lot of banners for a children's ministry
- met A LOT of kids! some who really latched onto my heart and i just haven't let go of yet!
- did ministry alongside josh and becca bowlin and played with their beautiful daughters!
- went to lake taupo for a wonderful convention experience in the nz wesleyan methodist church
- went to the place where the towers of hercules were shot as well as gollum's pool
- went up mt. doom and walked around mordor
- "drove the bus" with keith connor and the nz wesleyan church
- was able to set up a night of creative worship for the youth at convention and saw God take hold of their lives
- jumped off a platform on a cliff 154 ft. over the tongariro river with a glorified rubber band attatched to my feet
- was blown away by the crowd of 15 or 20 people who came to send us off at the airport
- used a lot of tears hugging each one of them...a few more hugging goodbye to sara knowing she wouldn't be boarding with me this time
- skipped may 7, and had a 44 hr long june 3
- flew a total of 33 hours
- slept a lot of hours to overcome jet lag
- slowly became addicted to playing wii...and learned it gives my family some good quality time
- took the time to just enjoy being with my mom, dad, grandma, and grandpa
- rediscovered yet again that lauren sheehan makes me laugh and understands even the weirdest things about me :)
- reconnected with two great friends: josh and nichole!
- am currently reading through 650 pgs in books and summarizing them in about 80 pgs of writing
- unfortunately turned down being a counselor at both fairmount camps that i love due to my work load
- now am learning what it looks like to say goodbye to so many people i love as i move...

how does God manage to cram it all in? he is so incredible and packs my life full of blessing. my prayer is that He is glorfied through every bit of it and that my steps follow the gait He has set for me.

lastly...DID I MENTION I WENT BUNGY JUMPING??????? :)

i'm the purple dot!

what a piece of bungy cord looks like...

if you really read all of that post, i am seriously proud of you :)

Life after NZ

2008-06-19T20:41:00.000-04:00

So lately I have just been hanging around Bluffton/Marion seeing people and catching up again. It has been good and it's getting to be weird that I am actually moving in 5 weeks. I get more and more excited about my upcoming position as I continue talking about it. Mostly I have been working on this crazy independent study and I cannot wait to finish it!! It will be a relief to finally not have homework for a while.

I've been listening in to some sermons from Water's Edge, the college group at 12 Stone (where I'm going). It's been good listening through them. There's been a quote I have been meditating on since I heard it. It continues to help me reevaluate things.

“I was good intentioned I just didn’t understand the Spirit of God. I thought that He was available to me whenever I wanted Him. The reality is that the Spirit of God inside of you means that you’re available to Him whenever He wants you. And that is the big difference.”

What might life look like if we weren't so disappointed when God didn't do what we wanted and started jumping at the crazy things He asks us to do?

Take it, take another little piece of my heart...

2008-06-06T02:54:00.000-04:00

There's a story I read as a child called "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie" that went along a trail saying that if you give a mouse a cookie then he will ask for a glass of milk, then a straw, and when he's done he'll want a napkin, then to look in a mirror to be sure there's no milk mustache, then the mouse is asking for other things in the house and eventually winds up at the end wanting another cookie. Over and over my journey with God is much like this children's book. "If you Give God a bit of your Life..." He'll take it, blow it up bigger than you had imagined, teach you to depend on Him, open your eyes to new ideas, bring new amazing people into your life, give you precious moments with Him, and when that experience is all over He'll be right there saying, "How about another piece?"

This trip was a prime example of this happening again. I cannot begin to tell you all the names, stories, and places of New Zealand that touched my life, but it was a complete God experience. I know there were many of you truly lifting me up in prayer throughout it all and I really appreciate it. We were able to see so many beautiful sites in NZ and just view the beautiful landscape that only He could put together. The team was able to be a part of so many different ministries from kids clubs, to youth ministry, to cleaning an unlivable home, to working with mothers, to loving on the elderly, to pulling weeds, to various painting/construction projects and ended with a wonderful time ministering with the 21 Wesleyan churches in NZ. There were so many wonderful relationships formed and it was apparent as we were flying out. Around 20 or so people from the churches there came to send us off with kind words, warm hugs, and parting tears. The connection there runs deep and does not end as we know that God is over it all. Certainly ministry did not first begin when we stepped foot into the country and it has not ended after we left. His watchful love is over all that continues on there, but my heart still yearns for the souls of people in NZ. My feeble ideas, worries, and fears about the trip were simply obliterated once in the country and moving in the power of the Holy Spirit.

Jet lag hasn't been awful, but I have slept quite a bit, and I am not disciplining myself very well to get back on Indiana time...whoops. I'll get there soon enough! I'd love to share more about the trip and if you want to hear stories I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to give me a call...I plan on staying in the country for a little while now. :)

When God asks you to take a big step, don't be afraid to just pick up your foot and see where He lets it land! You won't be disappointed.

"Therefore because we have such a hope, we are very bold" -Paul, Second letter to the Corinthians 3:12

NZ!

2008-05-04T23:26:00.001-04:00

I am finishing my packing for New Zealand and realized that I am neglecting to really post about the trip! I am, no doubt, still very excited about it! God has been working in my heart since May of 2005 to prepare for this and now on Tuesday it will finally take place! There are 7 other wonderful IWU students going with me and we are going to be doing many different things over there to serve and encourage the New Zealand Wesleyan churches. We fly out at 1 pm on May 6, skip May 7, and land in New Zealand at 5 am on May 8. We are running a Kids Klub at Papakura Wesleyan Church every Thursday and at the end of our trip helping with a national convention that brings all the different churches and cultures together. Other than that we are just trusting and knowing He will do great things through us if we are available!

We will be flying back June 3 and because of the 17 hour time difference...we will have 44 hours of June 3. :) I should finally be home June 4. If you would like to read our updates, they are on a blog.

www.wimay08.wordpress.com
username: maytrips08
password: worldimpact08

You will need the username and password to log into it and my posts will be labeled with New Zealand in the title. We will be trying to update as often as possible, but no news is good news! :)

I covet your prayers for us during this time. Please be praying that we will see opportunities for God to use us there and that His protection will be over us physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Thank you!

'Tis SO Sweet

2008-05-04T00:16:00.000-04:00

Since around February there has been a recurring song in my life. It's the old hymn "'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus" over and over this would come up at church, in chapel, walking through a building, in classes...really, truly everywhere. And every time it just made me really emotional. Probably because of the whole stepping out after graduation deal. I want to know what really trusting Him looks like. And I know that's a dangerous thing to ask, but I really do seek after it. So whether it's figuring out moving hundreds of miles from my family or going to opposite hemispheres, yeah there are anxious feelings that well up, but this song keeps bringing me back to center.

Being the google nerd that I am...I found out a pretty amazing story about it's composer. The song was written by a woman, Louisa M. R. Stead. Out of one of her darkest hours—the tragic drowning of her husband.
Louisa Stead was born in England. She felt the call of God upon her life for missionary service. She arrived in America in 1871. In 1875, Louisa married a Mr. Stead, and to this union was born a daughter, Lily. When the child was four years of age, the family decided one day to enjoy the sunny beach at Long Island Sound, New York.
While eating their picnic lunch, they suddenly heard cries of help and spotted a drowning boy in the sea. Mr. Stead charged into the water. As often happens, however, the struggling boy pulled his rescuer under the water with him, and both drowned before the terrified eyes of wife and daughter.
And out of her struggle with God during the ensuing days, flowed these meaningful words—“Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus.”
Taken from: (http://www.tanbible.com/tol_sng/tissosweettotrustinjesus.htm)

God has put some huge opportunities ahead of me. They are so much bigger than who I am, but I pray that through it I learn over and over how to lean on Him.

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, And to take Him at His Word; Just to rest upon His promise, And to know, “Thus says the Lord!”

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him! How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus! O for grace to trust Him more!

O how sweet to trust in Jesus, Just to trust His cleansing blood; And in simple faith to plunge me ’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!

Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus, Just from sin and self to cease; Just from Jesus simply taking Life and rest, and joy and peace.

I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee, Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend; And I know that Thou art with me, Wilt be with me to the end.

Something New...

2008-05-03T00:57:00.000-04:00

Well, I never post on this, but as I am approaching on this new season of life I'm realizing I need to try to keep up with it more so that I keep in contact with so many of you! So, where to start on the updates...

I had a great senior year at IWU. I lived with some of my closest friends and made new and I have so many memories from it that are still making me laugh. A few of us went on a cruise to the Bahamas (it was WAY cheap or we wouldn't have done it...much love to travelocity) for Spring Break and that was amazing! On the way down and back we stayed with a couple friends, Adam and Mindy Pierce, in Atlanta as they were gracious enough to let 4 college girls all over their home for a few days. It was a fun time to see them again after their time in Sri Lanka.

Now prior to this time I was really thinking I would probably be working at IWU after graduation...like so many do, and work as an admissions counselor. After all, I had worked there a few years as a student worker, so it seemed to make sense, right? Well, as we left this trip and were driving out of Atlanta, I continued feeling the presence of the Lord pressing me to seek out Atlanta further. I was there on a mission trip in 2002, but other than that had few connections to ministry there. I just kept praying about it, asking virtually every trusted person in my life what they thought about the idea, and googling like crazy. I had no ideas or plans, but there was an overwhelming peace that I should be there. So, I emailed random ministries and they forwarded to other ministries and before I knew it I had a road trip planned with quite a few meetings. While school was still in a couple pastors from 12 Stone, a Wesleyan church just outside of Atlanta, came to interview some students for intern positions at their church. A lot of people had told me to check it out, but for some reason I wasn't sure I wanted to. After about a 20 minute conversation with them my entire mindset was changed. Which...if you've had a taste of my stubbornness doesn't happen easily. :) So, I was really beginning to see that the it was the Spirit nudging me here.

April 26 (this past Saturday) I graduated from IWU with degrees in Adolescent Ministry and Intercultural Studies. As of Monday, I drove to Atlanta to seek out opportunities there. I met with various ministries Tuesday and Wednesday. Each one of them I felt like I could do, but in praying about them there was nothing pulling me toward any of them. Wednesday afternoon I met with Miles, the college/intern pastor, had some good meetings and decided to stay Thursday for their college service and to hang out with his amazing assistant, Stacey, for lunch. Talking with people I've heard a lot of good about the church, but so much of it was confirmed being there. I can't explain it, because I know it's not a me thing. All this to say, last night (Thurs.) Miles offered me a position there as an intern. I will be working with the Community/ Global Outreach area of their ministry for the next two years. The move will probably happen around the second week of August, so I'm still around for a little bit. It seems like a really sudden decision from the outside, but this is something God has been solidifying in my heart for longer than I can even tell you. How incredible that God even cares about my peace of mind that I could know this before I leave for a month...just amazing.

Tuesday (May 6) I leave to lead a team of 7 IWU students on a mission trip to New Zealand and I will be there until June 3, then doing a couple youth camps for Indiana North in Fairmount the second and third week of June, and a missions trip with Voices of Power to Philly in July. I'm hoping to have some sort of moving away party in late July so look forward to details for that! In the mean time, I'd love to be able to see you and hang out! Thank you for coming by my blog...leave a comment and let me know you were here. :) Blessings, Cami

Pray for Kenya...

2008-01-01T22:18:00.000-05:00

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22460182/

I just saw this article on msnbc.com...this could easily
become another Rwanda or Darfur. Makes my heart
heavy.

Please pray.

Because this is how I feel right now...

2007-12-19T09:53:00.001-05:00

Take me back to the time
When I was maybe eight or nine
And I believed
When Jesus walked on waters blue
And if He helped me, I could too
If I believed

Before rationale, analysis and systematic thinking
Robbed me of a sweet simplicity
When wonders and when mysteries
Were far less often silly dreams
And childhood fantasies

Help me believe
'Cause I don't want to miss any miracles
Maybe I'd see much better by closing my eyes
And I would shed this grownup skin I'm in
To touch an angel's wing
And I would be free
Help me believe

When mustard seeds made mountains move
A burning bush that spoke for You was good enough
When manna fell from heavens high
Just because You told the sky to open up

Am I too wise to recognise that everything uncertain
Is certainly a possibility?
When logic fails my reasoning
And science crushes underneath
The weight of all that is unseen

Help me believe
'Cause I don't want to miss any miracles
Maybe I'd see much better by closing my eyes
And I would shed this grownup skin I'm in
To touch an angel's wing
And I would be free
Help me believe

When someone else's education
Plays upon my reservations
I'm the first to cave, I'm the first to bleed

If I abandon all that seeks
To make my faith informed and chic
Could You, would You show Yourself to me?

Help me believe
'Cause I don't want to miss any miracles
Maybe I'd see much better by closing my eyes
And I would shed this grownup skin I'm in
To touch an angel's wing
And I would be free
Help me believe

Random...

2007-10-09T23:56:00.000-04:00

Best, Last, Today, Tomorrow, Favorite, Currently.

Best...
[1.] Male friend: Josh
[2.] Female friend: My Mom...but there are several others in the running. :)
[3.] Cousin: Lori.
[4.] Vacation: Cayman until it was cut short...
[5.] Time of Day: Evening
[6.] Day of the week: Friday!
[7.] Memory: oh my word...as of late it is the entire experience Saturday night at the haunted corn maze...definitely climbing the charts

Last...
[1.] Person you saw: sarah
[2.] Talked to on the phone: my dad
[3.] Text: Josh
[4.] Imed: Zach
[5.] Talk to over myspace: who knows...
[6.] To hug you: don't remember...probably Lauren
[7.] To kiss: really?

Today...
[1.] What are you doing now?: procrastinating
[2.] What are you wearing right now? striped pj pants, t-shirt, zippy shirt
[3.] Better than yesterday? i suppose

Tomorrow...
[1.] Is: wednesday
[2.] Got any plans: class.chapel.class.class.class.heather dinner. homework.
[3.] Dislikes about tomorrow: there are four classes and chapel...

Favorite...
[1.] Number: 23
[2.] Food: guacamole and chips
[3.] Color: green, purple
[4.] Season: fall.
[5.] Candy: dark chocolate
[6.] Flower: lilys
[7.] Scent: aqua di gio

Currently...
[1.] Missing: summer...
[2.] Mood: girly
[3.] Wanting: nah, not here.

Random...
Do you know anyone named David? a few, yes.

Ever kissed anyone with the name starting with a J? not yet.

Where is your cell phone? beside me

Say you were given a drug test right now. Would you pass or fail?
pass with flying colors

Are you taller than 5'6“? 5'9''

Ever drove into the ghetto to buy drugs? not to buy drugs...

Last restaurant you went to? cracker barrel.

What is the weather like today? colder.

What did you do yesterday? classes, worked, dinner, homework, gospel choir, hung out, homework...

How many hours did you sleep for last night? around 6 ish

If all of your friends were going on a road trip, would you? of course

Have you cried today? maybe.

Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now? i suppose it's possible.

Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off? not always.

What is the color of your bedsheets? Cream

Are you photogenic? not generally...

Do you have a tattoo? nope

Have you ever changed your clothes while in a vehicle? of course.

What were you doing at 2am last night? going to sleep.

Favorite Disney movie? cinderella!

What is the wallpaper on your cellphone? NYC from the Empire State Building at night

Have you kissed somebody in the last 2 weeks? nope.

Last beverage you had? Non-fat Sugar-free Mocha with Raspberry ;)

Interesting Article from J.K. Rowling...

2007-08-27T11:38:00.000-04:00

Thought she had some interesting thoughts about the emphasis we, yes, myself included, put on appearance. Check it out and gain a little confidence. :)

For Girls Only, Probably...
-J.K. Rowling

Being thin. Probably not a subject that you ever expected to read about on this website, but my recent trip to London got me thinking...

It started in the car on the way to Leavesden film studios. I whiled away part of the journey reading a magazine that featured several glossy photographs of a very young woman who is either seriously ill or suffering from an eating disorder (which is, of course, the same thing); anyway, there is no other explanation for the shape of her body. She can talk about eating absolutely loads, being terribly busy and having the world's fastest metabolism until her tongue drops off (hooray! Another couple of ounces gone!), but her concave stomach, protruding ribs and stick-like arms tell a different story. This girl needs help, but, the world being what it is, they're sticking her on magazine covers instead. All this passed through my mind as I read the interview, then I threw the horrible thing aside.

But blow me down if the subject of girls and thinness didn't crop up shortly after I got out of the car. I was talking to one of the actors and, somehow or other, we got onto the subject of a girl he knows (not any of the Potter actresses – somebody from his life beyond the films) who had been dubbed 'fat' by certain charming classmates. (Could they possibly be jealous that she knows the boy in question? Surely not!)

'But,' said the actor, in honest perplexity, 'she is really not fat.'

'"Fat" is usually the first insult a girl throws at another girl when she wants to hurt her,' I said; I could remember it happening when I was at school, and witnessing it among the teenagers I used to teach. Nevertheless, I could see that to him, a well-adjusted male, it was utterly bizarre behaviour, like yelling 'thicko!' at Stephen Hawking.

His bemusement at this everyday feature of female existence reminded me how strange and sick the 'fat' insult is. I mean, is 'fat' really the worst thing a human being can be? Is 'fat' worse than 'vindictive', 'jealous', 'shallow', 'vain', 'boring' or 'cruel'? Not to me; but then, you might retort, what do I know about the pressure to be skinny? I'm not in the business of being judged on my looks, what with being a writer and earning my living by using my brain...

I went to the British Book Awards that evening. After the award ceremony I bumped into a woman I hadn't seen for nearly three years. The first thing she said to me? 'You've lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw you!'

'Well,' I said, slightly nonplussed, 'the last time you saw me I'd just had a baby.'

What I felt like saying was, 'I've produced my third child and my sixth novel since I last saw you. Aren't either of those things more important, more interesting, than my size?' But no – my waist looked smaller! Forget the kid and the book: finally, something to celebrate!

So the issue of size and women was (ha, ha) weighing on my mind as I flew home to Edinburgh the next day. Once up in the air, I opened a newspaper and my eyes fell, immediately, on an article about the pop star Pink.

Her latest single, 'Stupid Girls', is the antidote-anthem for everything I had been thinking about women and thinness. 'Stupid Girls' satirises the talking toothpicks held up to girls as role models: those celebrities whose greatest achievement is un-chipped nail polish, whose only aspiration seems to be getting photographed in a different outfit nine times a day, whose only function in the world appears to be supporting the trade in overpriced handbags and rat-sized dogs.

Maybe all this seems funny, or trivial, but it's really not. It's about what girls want to be, what they're told they should be, and how they feel about who they are. I've got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don't want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I'd rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before 'thin'. And frankly, I'd rather they didn't give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons. Let them never be Stupid Girls. Rant over.

Birthday.

2007-08-23T01:22:00.000-04:00

I

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.
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.

My Slogans

2007-08-22T00:37:00.000-04:00

Patrice found this slogan generator...I'm up late so why not type some of my favs?

"We'll leave the Cami on for you."

"With A Name Like Cami, It Has To Be Good."

"Only Cami can prevent forest fires."

"It takes a tough man to make a tender Cami."

"Tough on dirt, gentle on Cami."

"A day without Cami is like a day without sunshine."

"Lipsmackin' Thirstquenchin' Acetastin' Motivatin' Goodbuzzin' Cooltalkin' Highwalkin' Fastlivin' Evergivin' Coolfizzin' Cami."

"I'm only here for the Cami."

"Leggo my Cami."

"Think Once, Think Twice, Think Cami."

"Every Kiss begins with Cami."

"When the going gets tough, the tough gets Cami."

"Got a Cami? You're in luck."

"Ain't no party like a Cami party."

okay....can anyone tell I'm procrastinating on my resume! off to more work...here's the site if you're looking for a laugh and a time waster :)

http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi?word=cami

Dramatic Chipmunk

2007-08-20T20:46:00.000-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1Y73sPHKxw

I'm sure a lot of people have seen this already...but I just can't
stop laughing at it. :)

Life...and I'm liking it

2007-08-12T10:53:00.000-04:00

the summer has ended.
i am not longer boss.
i am no longer coordinator.
i am no longer living in new hall.
in three hours, i am no longer in the
states!
YAY!
two days in chicago with the lovely lauren wrapped up and i went on my EARLY connecting flight to Ft. Lauderdale where i sit now waiting for my cayman flight...
i really don't know the last time i went on vacation...just vacation...no definite plans....no working purpose...no awkward situation... just relaxation.

sometimes i just wonder why i am so incredibly, overwhelmingly, and inexplicably blessed. this idea i've tossed around since reading a book entitled "the ultimate blessing." it evaluates this idea of what it really looks like to be blessed. when we say "God bless america, what do we really mean?" do i feel blessed because i am going to the caribbean? am i blessed for leaving school without loans? ...because I have amazing friends? ...because of a supportive family? ...because i am fed regularly? ...because I can get up and walk on my own any time i want? what defines blessed?
what happens if this trend ends? if after college God decides to use me among those in poverty and he allows all the material things in my life to fall to the wayside. he certainly did it for Job. was Job still blessed? would I still feel blessed?
and maybe it's not that i even need to "feel" blessed, but rather just recognize that i am. at what point in stripping things away do i become "unblessed." and maybe it's at these points that i am to truly embrace James 1:2 "Consider it PURE joy, my dear brothers, when you face trials of many kinds." i know i continue to grasp further the meaning of this as life passes on and i wonder how it is that my understanding of it will continue to develop.

wow...there was some stream of consciousness...haha...enjoy :)

Why Not...

2007-07-24T01:58:00.000-04:00

WRITE EXACTLY WHATS ON YOUR MIND, AND DON’T CHANGE IT"

1. Your ex and you = are about 2,500 miles apart
2. I am listening to = Friends on TV
3. Maybe I should = go to bed…
4. I love = vanilla bean ice cream
5. Chocolate = better when it’s dark.
6. I don’t understand = boys.
7. I have lost my respect for= Tom Cruise.
8. I last ate = popcorn at the movie with Krista.
9.The meaning of my display name is = about climbing…
10. God = overwhelming and amazing.
11. Someday = a big bag of “I don’t know yets”
12. I will always remember = July 10, 2003
13. Love seems to = turn up where I don’t expect it.
14. I never ever want to lose = my parents.
15. My MySpace is = not used often…
16.Tomorrow I will = work and go to my orthodontist.
17. I get annoyed when = I can’t find motivation.
18. Parties = I go to IWU…
20. Simple kisses = I miss them. (where is 19?)
21. Today I = started off not so great, but then got a cute new hair cut!
22. I wish = people loved more naturally.

IS YOUR / ARE YOU...

01. is your hair wet?:
Nope…I just washed it for the third time today and straightened it.

02. is your cell phone right by you?:
both of them (work/personal)

03. do you miss someone?:
definitely…probably more than they know

04. are you wearing chap stick?:
Burt’s Bees…I love that stuff!

05. are you tired?:
uh huh

06. are you wearing pajamas?:
yes I am

08. are you mad?
nah

09. are you upset?:
nah

HAVE YOU...
01. Recently done something you regret?
…maybe…

02. ever stuck gum under a desk?:
ew…no!

03. ever kicked someone?:
yes…ask Katee Gerber…

04. ever tripped over your own feet?:
yeah, seem to more when I’m wearing flip flops at IWU for some reason

TODAY HAVE YOU...

01. have you cursed?:
I don’t think so…

02. have you gotten mad at someone?:
nope

Q: person who is on your mind right now?
joy

Q: do you have any siblings?
nope

Q: do you want children?
absolutely

Q: do you smile often?
I try to

Q: do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?
No

Q: do you like your handwriting?
Yeah, it’s alright I guess

Q: are your toenails painted?
always

Q: are you a friendly person?
I try to be… ask my staff ☺

Q: what color shirt are you wearing?
Blueish

Oh Summer

2007-07-10T00:54:00.001-04:00

I've been reflecting on this summer. What I've really gotten out of it. I think I have mixed emotions about it. I've enjoyed what I've done, but I don't really know what I've learned from it. It'll be nice for the resume, but I wonder how I've really grown from the experience. It has been so affirming though. Maybe that's it. Just realizing that the leadership tasks that seem way too hard are really ones I've already been equipped for, not by my own power, but nonetheless equipped.

The next two weeks will be the proof I guess...two big conferences back to back. Two big 70 ish hour weeks back to back. Funny how everyday last summer I worked 17 hour days and now a few 12 hour days seem like a lot. Anyway I could use a lot of prayer to be sure my mind remembers the million and a half things I have to do. I know it will be fine, but I'm just looking forward to it being over. I've been so blessed this summer and I can't wait for all that is ahead in the next year.

Okay, now I'm not sure if this is even making sense...I'm exhausted...later :)

I really like this site...

2007-07-02T09:19:00.000-04:00

26 million people in the world suffering every day as a result of human trafficking. I can't even wrap my mind around what 26,000,000 people
would look like. I do know that I'm called to be a part of it's abolition.
Which doesn't make me feel special, but rather almost insignificant. I am
so entirely small. But if I stay in that rut I will be insignificant. For
now I will press on in the ways that I know how...

Take a look at the site below...it supports fair trade and a logical way of
stopping human trafficking in India. Plus, there are fun bags at a pretty
reasonable price! :)

http://www.ashaimports.com/index.html

Liked it...

2007-06-19T22:40:00.000-04:00

I love the "The Way I See It" quotes on Starbucks...

2007-06-09T21:30:00.000-04:00

"Sixty-nine percent of all problems in relationships are unsolvable. They are about differences in personality or needs. They never change. When you choose someone, you have inherited the problems you will have for the next 50 years. Unfortunately, we pick people who are not as perfect as we are, so relationships work if you have wound up with perpetual problems you can learn to live with."

-- Dr. John Gottman
Author and scientific expert/researcher on marriage, relationships and family.

Your thoughts?

Oh life...

2007-06-08T00:43:00.000-04:00

I'm really enjoying work still...but getting a little frustrated.

Tonight the housing rosters I had spent probably over 15 hours working on...were a complete disaster. It was really bad service, people were upset, and for some reason it just wasn't happening as it should. I'm not too upset about it, just dissapointed that it happened. That's life, right?

I'm hoping we can fix it all tomorrow. I am still seriously blown away at the smoothness of it all. God really protects and provides through every second of my day, truly amazing.

I should probably be sleeping now...gonna head to that soon. I'm really looking forward to the weekend! yay!

Another day...

2007-06-04T23:20:00.000-04:00

Things I'm thankful for:

an amazing first event.
beautiful sunshine.
a tan.
rain.
puddles to jump in.
cloudy and starry night skies.
an amazing staff to work with.
new friendships.
people i care about.
people that care about me.
God's protection.
patrice and the cayman islands.
encouraging people.
people that "make my day." :)
hugs from my mom.
laughing, lots of laughing.

Comfort Food and Missing You...

2007-05-31T22:57:00.001-04:00

Ugh, today was good but kinda long. I'm enjoying my job, but there are always frustrations throughout the day. God has seriously given me peace and a congnizance that I could just simply not even begin to claim as myself. I know that I have people praying for me and it shows up inumerable times throughout my day. If you are one of those people, thank you!

Still, all I wanted to do today was curl up and have comfort food. I just miss so many people...from last summer, Bluffton, home, my suites...just want to see people and laugh again. :)

Anyway, all is well, but I could use prayers for discernment and the right words for everything I'll deal with this summer.

Praises and praises to God for all He's done thus far!!

I Have Never Loved You More -- Nichole Nordeman

2007-05-27T21:26:00.000-04:00

Well, you could take a cup and fill it up
And just keep on filling til it all comes
spilling down the sides
That's what You do in my life

Or you could watch the sky at sunrise
And see the clouds turn shades I never
knew could make me want to cry
That's what You do in my life
Never mind moderation
You exceed my expectations

I have never loved You more
'Cause You have never loved me less
Than the day before, or the day before
I have never loved You more

Have you ever tried to count the stars way up past Mars?
It will blow your mind
Don't even try to think about infinity
But that's how You love me

Much more than I can contain
A balloon once tethered to the ground,
But could not stick around to stay
Free to fly away
Never mind moderation
You exceed my expectations

I have never loved You more
'Cause You have never loved me less
Than the day before, or the day before
I have never loved You more

I have never dared to dream
Beyond what I've already seen
The day before, or the day before
I have never loved You more

Exceedingly, abundantly more

me...right now

2007-05-22T10:35:00.000-04:00

I am finally done with school for spring! yay! I liked the class a lot, not sure how well I did in it though. Now onto serving bold in a challenging job...i think i can, i think i can. Only with Him empowering me. :)

All I know...

2007-05-20T02:20:00.000-04:00

I don't know how the stars hang
Or how there's night and then there's day
I dont know how you spoke into the black
And made it all obey

All I know is the bleeding in my heart
And the healing in your touch
All I know is that you gave everything
So let that be enough
'Cause it's all I know

I dont know how your love works
How you cover me in grace
I dont know how you swallow all I am
When I can't stand my taste

All I know is the bleeding in my heart
And the healing in your touch
All I know is that you gave everything
So let that be enough
'Cause it's all I know

I can't explain your mystery
But I know the answer

All I know is the bleeding in my heart
And the healing in your touch
All I know is that you gave everything
So let that be enough
'Cause it's all I know

Because I'm bored...

2007-05-08T00:24:00.000-04:00

Went to work out and there are girls in the room so I'm waiting it out...why not use this, right?

-Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?
always

- A big poofy dress or a short party dress?
Well...can I pick neither? I like dresses, but not so much short...and not usually poofy.

- What would you do if you received a long love letter?
Be very...very surprised.

- Group dates or single dates?
Depends on the situation...

- Do you hate it when guys act different around their friends?
than he does toward me...or what? I don't really want him flirting with his friends...haha.

- Are diamonds a girl's best friend?
no no...but they aren't an enemy ;)

- Is your hair up or down?
up right now...I like it down better though

- Do you straighten your hair?
Some days

- Whats your favorite girly magazine?
ummm...Glamour I guess

- Do you get your nails done?
nope

- Small or large purse?
medium...but I don't always carry one

- Jeans or skirts?
skirts for sure...they're more comfortable

- Do you wear clothes/shoes/jewelry that's uncomfortable?
at times...if it's that cute

- Do you text message a lot?
occasionally, not a lot

- What would you do if you got pregnant?
Now...declare it a miracle. Later in life...tell my husband and go out to celebrate!

- Whats your favorite color?
greens

- Heels or Flats?
flip flops all the way

- Did you ever cry during a romantic movie?
Yep.

- Would you ever leave the house without make-up on?
Yeah, I do a lot.

- Walmart or Target?
Target

- Do you wear collared shirts?
Sometimes

- Do you like preppy boys?
sure

- Are you spoiled?
I prefer well taken care of :)

- Do you think lip gloss is the best?
love it

- Do you own any big sunglasses
yep yep

- How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
depends...I've been known to brush teeth, shower, do hair, dress, and make up in 25 minutes if I really rush it. I generally couldn't even try to take over an hour though.

- Do you like to wear band aids?
what an odd question...i guess, if I'm cut...

- Do you like skater boys?
sure...I really don't "dislike" any clique of people...

- Do you often wish there was something you could change?
of course

- Gold or silver?
Silver

- Do you like to receive flowers?
yep yep

- Do you like surfer boys?
sure

- Do you dress up for the holidays?
a little

- Do you like to wear dresses?
yep

- On a scale of 1-10 how much do guys confuse you?
depends I'll go with 5

- In the past 24 hours have you hung out with a guy?
yes

- Do you wear lipstick?
nope

- Do you like ghetto boys?
sure

- What are your top two favorite stores?
Target/NY and Co.

- Which perfume do you wear the most?
Midnight Pomegranate

- Do you like to hold hands?
Yeppers

- What is the youngest aged person you would date?
20

- What is the oldest you would date?
29

- Do you like glitter?
show choir kinda ruined me of it...

- What is the best possible physical feature in a boy?
considerably taller than me

- Do you like eye contact?
hmmm, sometimes makes me uncomfortable

- Tropical drinks, or Starbucks?
Starbucks

- Did you ever picture your wedding dress and wedding?
I'm a girl, right? I wouldn't say I have colors picked out or anything, but we've
all thought about it.

Appearance
[] I have hazel eyes
[x] I have more than 3 scars.
[] I wish my hair was a different color.
[x] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x ] I work out
[] I wear contacts.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[] I have more than 2 piercings.
[] I have had piercings in places besides my ears.
[] I have freckles/ beauty marks

••Family//Home Life••
[] I've sworn in front of my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[x] Biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.

••Embarrassment••
[ ] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[] I've glued my hand to something.
[x] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[] I've had my pants rip in public.

••Health••
[] I've gotten stitches/staples
[] broken a bone.
[x] I've sat in a doctors office with a friend.
[x] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[x] I've had surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.

••Traveling••
[x] I've driven/ridden over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I've been on a plane.
[x] I've been to Canada.
[x] I've been to Mexico
[x] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan (I want to SOOO badly though!)
[ ] I've been to Mardi Gras.
[x] I've been to the Caribbean. (going back again!)
[] I've been to Hawaii (Flew over it to go to NZ...I feel like that should count)

••Experiences••
[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x] I've seen a shooting star.
[x] I've wished on a shooting star.
[x] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[] Kicked a guy where it hurts
[] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[] I've gone skinny dipping.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[xxxxx] I've been in a car crash haha
[] I've been skiing.
[x] I've been in a play
[x] I've caught a snowflake or snow on my tongue.
[x] I've seen the Northern Lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[x] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten Sushi.
[x] I've been snowboarding.

••Relationships••
[x] I like somebody
[] I've been the dumped more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[] I've been cheated on.
[] I've gotten divorced
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.

••Sexuality••
[] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[xx] I am a cuddler. :)
[x] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger

...if you just read all that...I'm shocked

hmmm

2007-04-30T03:19:00.001-04:00

Things I've learned from being in this room alone:

I don't see my family nearly enough.

I love living with people.

I love laughing with people.

I choose to have a lot of noise in my life.

I am learning to find beauty in silence.

I fill my schedule with a lot of frivilous things.

I love to read...lots of things, old novels, my bible in large portions, my journals, letters.

I miss a lot of people from... elementary school, high school, fairmount camp, youth group, voices of power, river terrace, new zealand, accesss, summit grove, yolijwa, pascagoula, bayou la batre, pine ridge, and new york city...

I have had an INCREDIBLE amount of opportunities in my life to go places and be exposed to the world.

I love long times of prayer.

I am so thankful for so many things I take for granted daily.

I need to tell more people what they really mean to me more often.

I am overwhelmingly blessed.

I want to learn more...

Our Worship...

2007-04-26T17:50:00.000-04:00

There was once a story told of a young group of people in China who gathered for a Bible study and as they sat in a small cold basement they tried to stay quiet so that no one from the street could hear them speaking. All of the sudden there was a break in of several communist soldiers ready to come against them forcefully, they kicked the Bibles from their hands and forced their heads to the open Bible saying, “If you’ll only spit on this Bible we will let you go and we won’t harm you.” One by one young adults came up felt the cold hard boot of the soldier on the back of their neck, spat on the Bible, and were released. Yet, there was one young girl at the back of the line that had her neck pressed to the Bible as well and she lifted her trembling hand, not to wipe her tears, but rather to wipe the spit off the Bible. After they shouted at her to stop, she quietly kept wiping it off was promptly shot in the head. Her blood was shed protecting the sacredness of worship.

Thousands of people across the globe know of Christ, and many cannot worship Him freely because of the way they are living. A girl who is only 14 and yet forced to sleep with several men a day just to survive and not be thrown away by the pimp that stole her from her family. Or we could take a glance at maybe a young man in Iraq who is immersed in the Islamic culture that would be cut out of his family for even the thought of worshipping this Jesus man. And then there is the picture of maybe an IWU student, or maybe the frustrated Pastor’s kid, or some one who had a bad experience in the church all three fighting to change what has happened to them, or the way that they believe worship to be.

Are we fighting for the wrong things?

Jesus’ fight was for worship to be available to all through the freedom that came by His death and resurrection.

Seems to me that it is probable that we should be fighting less for us to have worship the way we want it and just start
getting into the dirty of the world to fight for others to have the freedom to worship at all.

Your thoughts?

Finals...

2007-04-23T15:19:00.000-04:00

Monday at 3 has FINALLY come!!! woohoo!

I had an exegesis and a math final and they were both well...okay.

But they are done. I praise God for getting me through my all-nighter.

Certainly wasn't any strength or words of my own.

I'm tired, but God is good. :)

Hooray for naps...this one will be more than amazing. :)

"Make yourself necessary to somebody. Do not make life hard to any." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Winding Down...

2007-04-21T15:39:00.001-04:00

Oh how I have tangled myself in the procrastination web yet again...so so so many things to do and it all must be finished by 8 am on Wednesday. From the surface it sounds pretty simple, but I have three basic yet HUGE things to get done. All the while figuring out I am going to get my things out of the way for a couple other girls to move in here and get myself moved into another room...we'll see how that works.
I am looking forward to summer. My May Term class should be fun and I know I will be pushed in my job. I want to learn so much more...from God, about who I am, about how to grow more, about my abilities, about life in general. The two greatest things I can think of to do now are reading (for fun!) in the sunshine and laying under stars. What a huge blessing this weather has been!

Yeah, so nothing too important to post...just finishing an exegesis today and taking every shot I get at being outside! :)

Here's some thoughts I enjoyed from Oswald Chambers this week:
"Readiness for God means that we are ready to do the tiniest little thing or the great big thing, it makes no difference. We have no choice in what we want to do, whatever God's program may be we are there, ready. When any duty presents itself we hear God's voice as Our Lord heard His Father's voice, and we are ready for it with all the alertness of our love for Him. Jesus expects to do with us as His Father did with Him."

Here I go again...

2007-04-20T00:37:00.000-04:00

Well, I used to have a blog on here and then I just all of the sudden quit with the posting on it. I think it's good
though because it seems to be the only way that I am disciplined enough to get myself to sit down and journal.
Hopefully this works out. Seems to be kinda a trend these days...I don't know how much I am into being trendy
but here it goes. :)

Life has been, well, pretty lovely lately. I think it's fitting that I just list some blessings in my life to start this out.

1. My Parents: Who could ask for two more incredible people to be placed in their life? Granted there were some
rough spots in my life, but they have only driven me forward. (<---due to an incredible God...I'll get to that) From
the time in sixth grade when I set my path toward IWU my parents have supported and encouraged me to follow
the path that God was leading me to. Know that I am the girl that says "yes, Lord...okay now what did I agree to?" so
they have been just amazingly incredible in situations where even I didn't know what I was headed into. They see
everything they do for me as an investment in the kingdom and I just could never be greatful enough for all they are.
Yeah, I love 'em. :)

2. My Friends: Looking back over my life thus far, there have been many friends who have come and gone, but each
of them shaped me in important ways. There are just so many people in my life right now that are contributing to
who I am and being supportive. Probably it's you, the person who took the time to click on this and read my ramblings.
For those of you that care about my rambling life...thank you. It means more than you know and I'm sure more than
I tell you.

3. My School: Cliche or something...maybe, but IWU has really been amazing to me. I have so many professors that go
out of their way on so many occasions to assure me and give me Godly guidance. I could never have imagined how
amazingly supportive they would be! The Religion Department has considerably overdone themselves in being there
for me...and it's not like I'm the only one. I am so greatful for the way that they care about each of us.

4. My Lord: There's a commonly used sermon illustration from the scene in Indiana Jones in which he is above this huge drop off and just steps out over it with his foot dangling and a rock appears underneath where he steps. I cannot count
how many times I've had my foot dangling over the ledge and He has not just put a rock there but also chose to pour
out blessing upon blessing in every moment of my life. No matter what this world is doing around me or if times are
amazing or amazingly tough He gives me the joy and strength it takes to keep serving Him. Oh that I could grow to deal
with others in the way He has dealt with me time and time again.

5. Other: My summer job-Conference Services Coordinator, nervous but I know I'll be used.
Going to the Cayman Islands in August!!!!! The amazing Patrice has invited me to her home to chillax on the beach, hooray!

That is all for now...but how about you...have any blessings you wanna share? Love to see your comments! :)

Live like you mean it...